"Better than everyone else??? Me??? How could ANYONE say that??? I teach people not to see themselves that way! Forget it, no one understands me. Why do I keep putting myself out there? For THIS kind of abuse? All I am trying to do is make a difference! What's the point? I should just go home and call it a day. I am done with coaching."
And then I called Allan (my husband) to tell him that 50% of the feedback I received was negative and that I suck as a speaker and that I should seriously consider some other line of work. Here's what he said:
"Let's do the math. How many people were in the audience? 780
How many people filled out an evaluation form? 424
How many negative evaluations did you get? 38
So less than 5% of your audience was less than satisfied? Hmmm - you are right, you should find another profession." Then he went on to say the following:
"Here's what I see - the overarching feedback was that you are incredible and they need more people like you. Now, let's break down the negative feedback to see if we can learn anything..."
What Allan did for me is to neutralize the criticism and help me really understand the negative feedback so that I could make some tweaks to my presentation for next time.
Here's what I discovered: When criticism comes my way, my "emotional resilience" muscles can use a little strengthening. So here I am, revealing my own personal vulnerability in order to get to the other side where criticism is something that I can hear, sort through, learn from, and take with a grain of salt. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who does not let me sit in the mire too long before kicking me in the butt demanding that I SNAP OUT OF IT!