What did you say? Why Active Listening is so important.

Have you ever been talking to someone and you notice that glazed look in their eyes or worse yet, as soon as you stop talking, they jump in there with a statement that had nothing to do with your topic?  Can you say frustrated?!

In comes active listening.  Ahh, the blissful moment when you realize the person you are speaking to cares enough to actively listen to what you are saying and engages with meaningful dialogue. 

Why is it that now days we all seem too busy to listen to the people around us?  I mean if they are important enough for us to spend time with, aren't they important enough to listen to?  Engage with?  I think so.

So if anyone has been watching or following me (yes, I'm talking to my 3 followers, ha) you know I have been attending the International Coaching Academy for the past year and a half studying like a mad person to get my professional coaching certification.  One of the subjects we study is active listening.  Really active listening.  As a matter of fact, when we go through our mentor and observed coach training, our trainers are listening to see if we engage with our clients so that our active listening skills are as they should be. 

Hint, active listening takes practice.  It means telling your brain to be quiet and only focus on one voice.  In todays world, that's a miracle in itself.  I mean we listen to the TV, phone, computer, our neighbors, kids, and anyone else speaking all at the same time.  Shutting all that out and listening closely is a skill that must be practiced.  

You have to stop thinking of the next question or sentence you want to interject into the conversation.  It's about letting that person tell their story and then reflecting or engaging in a way so that they can continue.  In coaching, this is critical.  If I am busy thinking of the next question to ask my client, I may miss the biggest breakthrough comment of the entire session.  Ugh, that's disappointing! 

So helpful tips from your friendly coach:

✔️Stay present.  Eye contact helps with this or at least watch their face. 

✔️Practice being quiet.  Wait for the pause before speaking. 

✔️Eliminate distractions.  Yes, this means even the phone call from your neighbor telling you about the cat that's in your tree. 

✔️Ask reflective questions and show you care.  Like I said in the beginning, if they are important enough to hang out with, they are important enough to actively listen to.  

🎆Good luck (And if your interested in 1:1 coaching, reach out to me.  I'd love to talk about the benefits you could receive.)